Baisden After Dark
July 12, 2008
Vanessa Williams, Joseph C. Phillips, Dr. Michelle Callahan
After the Affair: Do you forgive and forget or do you remember… and remember?
After Michael Baisden opened up this Saturday’s show, I already knew what to expect. Although, Baisden recruits panelists of both genders, to avoid biased opinions, his topics continue to go in circles; never-ending. The question and topic for the night was first directed towards the ladies, “If your man was taking care of the kids, putting it down in the bedroom, everything and he cheated, would you leave him?” After a round of applause for a response of yes or no, the men were asked. Before Baisden could finish his question, George Wilborn shouted, “No!”
After commercial break, Baisden asked Wilborn why he said no. George Wilborn stated that men who have been cheated on will always have ideas of the other man; “Was he better than me? Can he pick her 250lbs up higher than me?” Women do not think the same?
In actuality women think more with their emotions. Women wonder, “Why me? Why her? What is wrong with me?” On the other hand, men just wonder if the other man was fulfilling their woman’s needs better than her own man. Joseph then discussed the difference of emotions in both sexes cheating. He explained that men are just worried about getting the sex, no feelings involved, whereas women are allowing another man to enter inside them; it is assumed that the woman must have some type of emotions for that other man.
It is said that when a man and a woman interact sexually, the woman gives their soul to that man; that is why they say wait for sex. But, how can a woman have the same mentality as a man and ignore all feelings and emotions? Women were just born that way; to express their feelings, to love and care for one.
I’ve heard that when a man and a woman are together for a long time, for example marriage and then they divorce; some do not want to re-marry for fear of “starting over.” Wilborn mentioned that they do not want to lose their family and even the time spent in the relationship. Then, why don’t men forgive? Vanessa Williams continued to state that a relationship must grow from their mistakes; which is rational. That is exactly how a relationship will grow and become stronger. One must learn from their mistakes and their better half must forgive in order for their relationship to be stronger; their TRUST will be tested. It is up to the two in the relationship to move on and grow from the past.
Baisden then asked: is it ever anyone’s fault that they got cheated on?
I would have to say no to his question. Many do lack in certain aspects of their relationship, but why can’t people just end the relationship? Do they have to go outside the relationship and cheat? Yes, each partner’s needs must be met, but many cheat because they are greedy. After being cheated on by my first love, I can honestly say I did what I needed to do to fulfill all his needs. Although, I was new to the game, I did what I could and what he wanted to make him happy; never thinking about myself. Clueless to the deceit and the infidelity, I took him back plenty of times. But you know what they say? If you let him get away with it the first time, he’s gonna continue to do it thinking he can get away with it. So, after I had found out about the first cheating incident, I blame myself for the others because I could’ve avoided it and protected myself and my heart sooner instead of dealing with the pain and heartache like I never knew what he was doing all along.
So, why is it that a woman is cheated on, find out and still stay?
